![]() ![]() It is a shame if people choose not to read this book because of your reputation as a prankster, a wit, and a satirist. ![]() ![]() Yet you did it! I bet you sometimes wondered if you were going to be able to pull it off and if the type of people who protest movies like The Last Temptation of Christ would protest your book without reading it. What audacity to write a Fifth Gospel-and to have it narrated by Biff, the inventor of sarcasm and a sex fiend! It must have been a tricky balancing act to be that irreverent yet respectful at the same time. Why am I writing this love note to you? Well, I read what must be your magnum opus, Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal. Well, let's not get carried away here or Mr. You are kind of cute from what I've seen of your author photos. Despite all the joking, you manage to inject true moments of emotional truth and human kindness into your books.Ħ. You are irreverent but in a respectful way-not an easy one to pull off but you manage to do it.Ĥ. If you can separate your religious beliefs from the fiction of this story, I think you will find Lamb to be a very enjoyable book.ģ. As my disclaimer above states, this book will not be for everyone. The story continues with Josh’s ministry, his adoption of disciples and apostles, and finally his crucifixion.īiff is fiercely loyal, incredibly funny and very human in this story. With all of this knowledge, Josh returns to Israel to take his place as the Messiah. Finally, they go to India to meet with Melchior, who teaches them the intricacies of Hinduism and yoga. After spending several years with him, they journey to China to meet Gaspar, who lives in a Buddhist monastery where the young men learn martial arts and meditation. Biff joins him, and together, they travel to meet the three wise men who came to the manger when Josh was born.įirst, they meet Balthasar, who instructs the boys about the teachings of Tao and Confucius. At the age of 13, Josh decides to journey out to learn more about his place as the Messiah. It’s that gap that Christopher Moore decides to fill with a very humorous story about Jesus’s younger years, told by his fictional best pal, Biff.īiff befriends Jesus (who goes by his Jewish nickname, Josh, in this story) when they were six years old. What was Christ like as a child, teenager or a young man? The Bible documents much about his birth, his ministry and his death, but there’s a sizeable gap about his younger years. So Biff promptly teaches himself to have Wet Dreams at will.Show More then skip this novel. The Buddhist monastery forbids masturbation, but grudgingly tolerates nocturnal emissions.Josh originally intended the Sermon on the Mount to contain the phrase, "blessed are the dumbfucks." Biff vetoed it on the basis that they were already blessing the meek, the persecuted, the poor in spirit and all sorts of other losers who would be nothing but The Load, and he absolutely refused to let them be saddled with the dumbfucks too.The running gag of distracting someone or changing the subject with "Look! A seagull!".Biff's attempts to survive on the freezing mountain by the use of self-heating monk barriers and his use of them as food warmers.Biff's and Joshua's derailing of Gaspar's boat metaphor.Joshua explaining why what seems to be the image of Mary in the elephant poop isn't her because it was "obscured by the medium.".Biff attempting to explain sex and the Kama Sutra to Joshua.Joshua demonstrating his new contortionist talents by fitting himself in Biff's satchel, ending up dislocating limbs.Maggie suddenly being "possessed" and the artful touches that Biff comments on, such as urinating whilst running across a table kicking plates.The running gag of Biff's mother being 'plagued by demons'."I could heal that affliction for you.".Josh healing a little girl's hand and then showing her how to give the finger to a Roman soldier.However, the origin of the word "Judo" is at the top of the list. It's hard to pick one scene from "Lamb The Gospel According To Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal" by Christopher Moore. ![]()
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